When Superman dies…

By Superman, I of course mean my dad.

DadWhen I was growing up, I never used to think that my grandparents would die.  However, it never crossed my mind that my own parents could and would die.  On April 11th, 2001, at the age of 52, my dad passed away with a year of being diagnosed with brain tumours.

Even now, I remember the phone conversation we had when he broke the news to me.  I was devastated.  I think I said something along the lines of, “but you can’t be.  You’re my dad”.

Within twelve months of the diagnosis dad had changed from being and looking really healthy, to not being able to speak or hardly even move.  It was soul destroying.  I would go up to see him in Edinburgh (from Wirral) and with every trip another little piece of him would be gone.  The last time I spent with him was at the Marie Curie Hospice in Fairmilehead, near Edinburgh.  I can’t fault the care he received from those very dedicated nurses.  The Chaplain was a great guy as well.  However, during that last meeting he could no longer speak and he could barely move on his own.  We sat for a while just looking at each other.  I could not bring myself to say goodbye to him. Then, he started smiling at me. He always had a twinkle in his eye and it was there again in that smile.  He probably knew what I was thinking.  I smiled at him, whilst I fought back some tears.  Eventually though, I had to go.  I gave him a hug and told him that we would see each other again.  With that, I left.  I stepped outside with tears streaming down my face.  I was confronted with the clearest night sky.  As I stared up, I just asked God for my dad’s suffering to end soon (not an easy request to make).

Within a few weeks dad died.  He was gone.

Since then I have had two sons of my own.  My brother also has a son.  He never got  to see them, and for me, that is one regret that I will always carry.  We have his CD’s so the boys can at least hear and hopefully enjoy their granddad’s music.

That time has flown by.  Rest in peace dad.  When we see each other again, we have some catching up to do.

Ciao Dad! xxx

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About David J Steele

Christian | Husband | Dad | Scottish | Social Democrat | Ultravox |
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